Responsibility.

To take responsibility. To be responsible. 

You may feel as if I’m constantly nagging you guys because I am. I am nagging you into a direction of knowledge only so YOU can take positive messages from what I write and apply them to your everyday life which in return will only bring YOU happiness. 
This is my passion amongst many other things, but most importantly I feel I have a duty to, To encourage and to guide. To make sense of things that you may think but cannot understand clearly, that’s my purpose and I thrive off knowing that through my writing I open my readers eyes.
| enough of the soppy, writer to reader shit, here’s some real shit about why things may seem to go tits up for you in most scenarios. 

It all comes down to this word I’m going to be drumming into your head through this entire piece, bare with me, you’ll thank me sooner or later. 

  

So I converse a lot with people and I tend to be the first to call for advice whether it be family or friends somebody is always proding me for some sort of advice regarding certain situations they are going through in life.

| this I thoroughly enjoy so I can collect information I need for posts like these as well as provide advice all at the SAME DAMN TIME: I’m amazing aren’t I? 

Ok back to it. 

One thing that I find common in every single situation that I give advice on or even that I go through, is people’s inability to take responsibility in their part-takings in the down fall of things. This ranges from the break down in a relationship, failing academically, loosing sense of identity, loosing a job, struggling financially, arguments to hell with it EVERYTHING you do in life requires YOU to take responsibility of your participation in it. 
Thus it is your business to ensure you understand 3 things that taking responsibility involves, which are:
1. How your involvement effects you and others. 

2. What it is you take responsibility for.

3. How do you maintain this responsibility that you have taken on. 

| “I have brought a flower, and it is my responsibility to water it everyday, but I have had a long week and have forgotten to water it. Now it’s petals are starting to wilt, it’s going to die soon because I didn’t maintain the responsibility I took on to water it everyday”  

These I believe are very important to any situation and understanding how we can change our perspective on things that don’t go well (let’s face it things don’t always go according to plan) and how we can then move forward from what we feel towards that situation. 
| a cause for thought;

have you noticed that people are always ready to stamp their participation in things that are successful.. “Yeah it was me  “yeah I helped” but NOBODY is ready to take that step forward and admit when they took part in something that never went too well. It’s always somebody else’s fault. ❌It never goes like.. 
“you know what, 🤔 that ship sank because I didn’t build the foundation properly, what am I going to do next time? What am I NOT going to do? Am I going to use a stronger material? Will I use a different method?”

If we continue to ignore the fact that more time our OWN actions are what contribute to the falling of something then we will never overcome it. Some people are always looking for the next person to blame rather than looking at themselves. 

| “some people choose to add fuel to their fire’s then cry when they get burnt”

Let me just clarify I am NOT saying blame yourself, but I am encouraging you to hold your hands up and say “hey, I know, I fucked up” or “WE fucked up right, we’ll do better next time” showing some acknowledgment of your contribution to something can go a long long way, not just for you but also for the other person involved. 

HUMANS ARE SELFISH, WE TAKE INSTEAD OF GIVING IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL SATISFACTION AND GAINS

Human beings are extremely selfish whether you want to believe it or not. For example, I got a job to generate income (because somewhere in my life I was told this is what I should do) so I can buy pretty little things that I like, no other reason than that and of course to survive. 
Anyone else included in that equation? No. Am I selfish? A little, do I give a damn? Not really. Why? Because I care about MYSELF and therefore aim to provide for MYSELF. This is a very minor example of selfishness but it’s still considered as such. But do YOU? Do you give a damn about other major selfish traits like, not being able to put yourself in others shoes, like not being able to compromise, like not being able to listen to understand but instead to listen to respond. Do YOU care about how you participating in certain situations may make others feel not just how it made YOU feel?

| “we do not understand the ripple effects of our actions”  

 

Most often we tend to down play the effects of our decisions on others because we are selfish and fail to understand that despite the issue being with you or perhaps another being, this WILL effect the people around you. 
If you died tomorrow will people be effect by your death? YES why? Because these people care therefore when you choose to make decisions that may hurt others do not try to understand the pain you have inflicted upon them BUT do take responsibility for the pain you have made them feel. If your man enough, apologise for it, although you cannot take back what you have said or done you can always make things right going forward. 

So sometimes when someone is frustrated and giving you a lecture on bettering yourself understand that this person has your best interest at heart and just wants you to try harder to do better despite it not being their RESPONSIBILITY to do so.

| ATT’N: “nobody is coming to save you. This life of YOURS is 100% your responsibility”

For example, I’ve lost my job and I have told everyone down to my boyfriend about this. FIRSTLY this is point 3 of the involvement in a responsibility – maintaining this responsibility that of which I have failed. 
This then brings us to point 1 – how my involvement (loosing my job) effects the people around me and myself. Ultimately I’m going to be depressed, this is going to effect my mum, my sisters, my boyfriend and to a degree my friends BECAUSE all these people care for me and have my best interest at heart. So I will have to understand that they may feel under pressure to provide for me the things that I can no longer provide for myself. 

I then have to take RESPONSIBILITY to take on point 2 and understand that at this point I need to TAKE responsibility for loosing my job and therefore aim to find me a new job. Not to sit there and allow my relationships to break down due to the strain of other people having to provide for me, as I UNDERSTAND that although they are family their duty is not to provide for me. And ladies and gentlemen this is how you take responsibility for your actions. 

| “we choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them” so take responsibility for the life that YOU have chose. 

I hope that I have encouraged you to understand the purpose of taking responsibility and how this can change your life and relationships for the better. 
~ could of been a bit longer but I trust that my readers got the drift cause quite frankly if I see the word responsibility one more time I think my head will explode.