Situationship?

Disclaimer:

The content of this post has not been tested, thus does not apply to every person(s).

So I’ve been asked by my readers to explore the nature of a well known socially constructed term amongst us young beings known as a “situationship” which seems to have derived from the unfortunate result of a relationship with the other sex, which although consists of some of the qualities of a “relationship” lacks an official title between the two participants for whatever reason. It is often confused with dating which in my opinion is the final stage before an official relationship.

FIRSTLY, understanding the difference between dating, being in a situationship and simply being a BOOTY CALL or FWB.
Ok so let’s just clarify what I mean by the above, because many people, predominantly women fail to understand when their relations with the opposite sex falls into one or the other categories listed above.

So let’s address the booty call (friends with benefits) category first of all. This term is used to describe a male or female that is only beneficial to the other being for sexual pleasures. They only contact one another when sexual urges arise and both understand that neither participants are looking for a long term relationship with one another. This is a MUTUAL agreement there for neither participants can claim to be led on or used once the relationship comes to an end for whatever reason. If you happen to catch feelings in the process then my friend that is your own.
In some cases there is a victim and this occurs when one of the participants is oblivious to the intentions of the other person they are having relations with.
With that being said it is important to understand the following when deciding wether you are CONSIDERED as someone’s booty call.

1. If this person never makes time for you and the only time you actually get is a hour session (if your lucky) indulging in sexual activities then my friend you are a booty call.

2. If you don’t hear from this person often and when you do, it’s to find out if your free and free not to go out to eat but to come over then your a booty call.

3. This person never really asks how your days been and is satisfied with talking to you once a month or so after you’ve had sex? Booty call.

4. Only blows up your phone when you change your display pic to one of your back looking hella fat? Can you guess? BOOTY CALL.

5. When you have caught feelings and try to tell them but they do not make it clear that the feelings are not mutual but also do not say anything that could damage their booty call relationship with you. AGAIN BOOTY CALL.

Many people end up in these never ending booty call situations because they tend to ignore the RED FLAG indicators which are mainly the above. Especially when they like the person and they want their gut instincts to be wrong, so you end up tolerating certain behaviours on the basis that one day you will get commitment from the other person but the majority of the time this is something you’ll never gain. And in the end you have wasted your precious time.

In some cases people are very honest and can be straight up about their intentions with you *round of applause* for these individuals because the language of honesty doesn’t come as a second nature to some of you nowadays. So when this applies to knowing you are friends with benefits, you should understand that all of the points above “the booty call indicators” I will call it, should not effect you emotionally as you AGREED to have this type of relationship with the other being involved.

Despite having a mutual agreement most women tend to think that they can alter a mans intentions with them, I’m here to tell you baby girl you are wrong. Even if you have been friends with benefits for two years his intentions to keep fucking you will remain the same! You should never associate time with a man being genuinely interested in you! Besides you cannot consent to fucking a man whenever you or he pleases then when you catch feelings expect him to wife you. In his eyes your probably not wifey material and therefore you will find that after your confession of feelings for him things go completely left.
SO before we proceed if you have decided to take on the role of a booty call PLEASE do not, when you have caught feelings blame the other participants for “leading” you on because your simply a mumu and should of cut all ties when these feelings developed.

Now we can address a situationship and dating. First of all in my opinion DATING is the stage before a relationship that holds all the qualities of a committed relationship but no official commitment has been made YET.
And a situationship is one similar to the above but complicated due to certain conflicts whether that be past relationship interference, insecurities that strain the relationship preventing it from progressing and being complacent.

So here’s the difference between not being wifed in a situationship VS the dating stage.

In most cases boys do not commit to a female for 2 main reasons:
(I may be wrong but from critical analysis these seem to be the most common)

HE IS NOT READY – They are still playing the field and want to explore their options even if you seem to be the perfect candidate to be the girlfriend.
^ This is where you end up in a “situationship” where your fucking, catching feelings, spending time together but going absolutely no where fast.

Situations do not benefit anyone and in the end someone gets hurt. Usually one of the participants is still attached to someone in their past and just wants you to be on standby or to act as their REBOUND when things don’t go according to plan. You ever been getting to know someone for a few months, fucking and whatever and then they start moving left and you hear they have rekindled stuff with their ex? Yeah that.

But when dating, if a man takes his time usually:

HE WANTS TO BE SURE – he wants to make sure that this person he commits to is the right girl to do so, understandably nobody likes to waste their time.

It is always obvious which of the above reasons the guy your seeing hasn’t committed to you yet. If it appears to be him not being ready and still playing the field then honey that is a RED FLAG. That clearly means he wants the best of both worlds and it doesn’t matter how much you like him there are plenty guys out there who would be all about you and that just means that you need to move your cute ass along because you are no option. HOWEVER if you are certain you are only seeing eachother and he takes his time to make it official APPRECIATE THAT. 
I appreciate a man that takes time with his female, that takes time to get to know her in every state because guys who do not want you long term DO NOT and WILL NOT make the effort to discover you. I mean you could be a crazy bitch and time needs to reveal that. A man who takes his time displays patience this should not be overlooked because there are some real hungry niggas out here who don’t wait for shit all.

So do not apply pressure to your relationship just because a man is waiting for the right time to make you his. He needs to know that you hold the right qualities of a wife and even a mother to raise his kids.

THERE IS NO RUSH. And a title doesn’t mean shit when a single nigga can be more loyal to you than a guy that’s been with his woman for how many years.

OBVIOUSLY if he takes more than a year to make it official he’s taking the piss but what I mean to say IF ITS NOT BROKEN DO NOT FIX IT.

If you are in neither of the positions above this goes for ladies and men, I advise you to find yourself! Discover your worth so that you attract and entertain people who are only worthy of your time, with that being said enjoy life, stay cute and make your money.

if you feel like your situationship is not going anywhere it probably isn’t, and if whenever you try to address the “what are we” conversation and nothing is made clear then your probably being fed bullshit, if a man wants you its only logic that he tells you and shows you how much. And if he doesn’t then walk away.
“Men are natural predators and tend to go after what they want, if you are not what a man really wants then he will not go hard for you”